Man, life would be really awesome if all of our gadgets and machines functioned perfectly 100% of the time. Unfortunately, that is not the case. No matter how well you take care of something, it will eventually wear out….much like these ol’ bodies of ours. I’m only 26, and I am convinced that 26 is the year your body begins to turn on you. I won’t go into detail, but after two kids and a lifetime worth of stress packed into the past 5 months, my body hates me. Living in survival mode is exhausting. Spiritually rewarding….but physically exhausting. As the old saying goes, I’ll rest when I’m dead.
We are still adjusting to this “missionary life”. As I’ve said before….there’s no “how-to” book for this type of lifestyle. We are in uncharted territory. Some days, it’s everything we dreamed of. Other days, we’d love to pack up and move out. I wish I could really explain the emotions that come with learning a new language and culture. It’s a wonderful, awful, exciting, and terrifying roller coaster. But we choose to climb aboard that roller coaster every day and take every turn, curve, and loop-da-loop in stride.
Most of you may be familiar with Luke chapter 9 and verses 57-62. Jesus shares about the cost of discipleship. Quite frankly, his words here are hard to digest. There were men expressing their desire to follow Him, only they had business at home they needed to take care of first. One man says he needs to go bury his dead father first, to which Jesus replies, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and preach the kingdom of God!”. OUCH! Can you imagine the shock on this dude’s face? After that, another man chimes in with, “Lord, I’ll follow you, but first let me bid farewell to those in my house.” In my mind, I’m thinking….If he didn’t let that other guy bury his own dad, he’s definitely not letting this guy off easy. And sure enough, Jesus says, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Wow. Now let that sink in. No, really. Let it sink in. I’ll give you a minute.
We all know how Jesus ministered. He never pulled any punches. He was real and to the point. There was never any sugar coating. Jesus was straight up honest one hundred percent of the time. Oh to be a fly on the wall during that time. I would have loved to have seen the faces of these two men when Jesus said what he said. Talk about a perfect moment to drop the mic. Evidently, they chose to follow Him because they were appointed as part of the seventy men that were sent out starting in Luke chapter 10. I’m glad to know they did the right thing.
Following Christ should not be an easy task. When you decide to answer a calling on your life, it should not be a cake-walk. You’re going to make up your mind to put your hand to the plow. You will feel excitement. You will feel the empowerment of the Spirit. You will feel a strong passion to plow the land in front of you in order to reap a harvest of souls for the Kingdom of God. You will feel strong and encouraged. And then….the plow breaks. You were plugging along so well and it just broke. Wait a minute. This isn’t supposed to happen. God put you on this journey. Why would he let something go wrong? Why would he send you out with faulty equipment? You are in unfamiliar territory. How will you get this fixed? You want to turn back and run to what is familiar. Unfortunately, running would make you “unfit for the Kingdom of God”. Don’t get mad at me. Those aren’t my words. Those words are in red.
It’s so uncomfortable and frustrating when something breaks. It’s down right inconvenient. If I had a dollar for every inconvenience we’ve experienced in this journey, we would never have to ask anyone for another red cent! The plow literally breaking has happened about three times so far. The first day Steven went out into the field to finally work with the tractor and plow up some land for a poor pastor in the territory, a disc on his plow broke clean off. It was discouraging. It was just another thing to add to our list of broken things we’ve dealt with. We’ve had a broken fridge, washing machine, dresser, bed, shower head, laptop, kitchen chair, and the one spatula I have broke clean in half one day. (I still use it.) Let’s just say, if something doesn’t break….we’re surprised. In those moments, “woe is me” begins to set in. We begin to think about how easy life used to be. For me, I begin to think about how I used to be able to jump into my little SUV and drive to the store for groceries. Now, if there’s not someone to give us a ride, Steven has to walk a very long way in the hot sun to get to the store. Sometimes in those moments, we begin to turn our heads to get a glimpse of our old lives. We lose focus and we forget there’s still land left to plow. Our hands begin to loosen their grip on the handles of the plow and our necks begin to turn. The plow is broken. What’s the use? In that moment, God whispers, “My Kingdom.” And that’s all it takes. We shake ourselves and do what it takes to repair the plow to continue the work. Whenever the plow breaks, there’s always an important lesson to be learned. He teaches us. He strengthens us. And above all of that, he humbles us. He breathes new life into our spirits to keep pressing forward in the field.
For us, this calling was never an option. It wasn’t a decision of “hey, let’s go live in Honduras. That sounds fun”. It was an appointed mission with our names on it. We could have chosen not to accept it, but oh the misery that would have followed. We could have chosen to hesitate and give excuses as to why the timing wasn’t right. That would have been disobedience and He would have used someone else in our place. He called. We answered. That’s how it works. We have made many mistakes in this journey and are sure to make many more, but I pray our outcome is like the seventy that were sent out in Luke chapter 10! When they returned, they returned with JOY and AUTHORITY, and their names were written in heaven. I know more things will probably break…(Steven’s plow is actually at the shop being repaired as I type this.) but God is working a plan and He knows how that plan needs to be executed. If that means something has to break in order to teach a lesson, so be it. I’m glad my hope is not in the material things of this world. My hope is in Christ Jesus. And He’s guaranteed to function for all of eternity. Even Sears can’t offer a deal that good.
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